Articles published in April, 2016

Is your team affected by this morale sapping bug?

The first time you noticed something unusual was about 2 months ago. You came out of your office and your team were unusually quiet… staring intently at the screens, madly pressing away on their keyboards or clicking at a mouse. One team member seems to be strutting around the office nervously making jokes and trying to get people’s attention and another team member was missing, presumably in the loo or taking a coffee break… it was a bit odd, but you didn’t think too much of it and went back inside your office to continue working.

In the days and weeks afterwards, the office banter lessened. People started coming in at one minute to nine, seemingly unhappy to be at work and then leaving as soon as the clock chimed five. At times, you’d see a small huddle of people around someone’s desk and then whole groups of people leaving the office to lunch together leaving just one or two behind. Pretty soon sales targets were being missed, project schedules were getting delayed, people were calling in sick and a new phrase had started appearing in the office… “sorry – its not my job”.

Conflicts are an inevitable part of working life, but when left unmanaged – they have the capacity to tear teams and even entire organisations apart. What might start off as a spat between two individuals can quickly escalate into an unsavoury popularity contest forcing unwitting team members to take sides and so it’s important as a leader, to identify and mediate the conflict at the earliest opportunity.

But how do you go about mediating a venomous and bitter conflict? How can you bring about a successful conclusion when both parties regard the opposing one as being in the wrong, deceitful or just plain mad?

Here are a few simple pointers to help:

1. Speak to the individuals involved and make sure they feel their feelings and needs are acknowledged and understood.
2. Help them understand that conflict is a circular dynamic — to which both parties contribute. By understanding their own role in the conflict and the power they have to break the cycle of conflict, it can help to avoid further incidents in the future.
3. Bring the ‘combatants’ together, to talk through their feelings and needs and also to explore why they took the path they did
4. Look beyond the conflict at the qualities and the value each person brings to the bigger picture.

Conflicts are often born (or at least heavily fuelled) by incorrect assumptions. Perhaps something said innocently, that has been taken the wrong way or a team member taking action, which another person feels is devious or deliberately damaging to them. In no time at all, what may have been a minor initial incident (or not even an incident at all) becomes distorted beyond all recognition as emotions go into overdrive.

But it doesn’t always have to be like this. The road to conflict resolution requires self-awareness and empathy from all parties – and if as leaders, we instill these values within the very culture of our organisations – we stand a very good chance of conflict becoming a far less significant part of everyday office life.

How do you deal with conflict as a leader?

A unique combination of nature, nurture and life experiences means that every one of us sees the world from a different perspective. Not only do we form different opinions about the world around us, but we also react to events and the circumstances that surround us differently. The result of this, particularly in stressful situations or when the stakes are high… is conflict.

Our working environment can and often is the perfect breeding ground for conflict to take hold. An ever more competitive environment, tighter deadlines, higher targets, smaller budgets and opposing departmental objectives are some of the many sparks that can ignite the ‘conflict flame’. So with conflict being such an inevitable part of working life, it’s important as a leader to recognise your role in it and your responsibilities to manage and resolve it.

Long-time experts in the field of conflict management – Kenneth W. Thomas and Ralph H. Kilmann found that the way we deal with conflict can be determined by measuring our assertiveness against our willingness to cooperate. From here they came up with 5 conflict management styles, each with their own positive and negative attributes. As a leader, can you recognise your approach to conflict in one of the conflict management styles listed below?

Competing

Assertive and uncooperative, this person pursues his/her own concerns at the expense of others. If you fall into this category, you’ll do everything in your power to win whether it’s pulling rank, shouting the loudest, intimidating your competition or imposing marshal law. A competing person will stand up for his or her rights and vigorously defend a position which he or she believes to be correct.

Accommodating

Unassertive and cooperative, this person is the complete opposite of the above. When accommodating, the individual neglects his or her own concerns to satisfy the concerns of other people. Accommodating might take the form of selfless generosity or charity, obeying another person’s order when you would prefer not to, or yielding to another’s point of view.

Avoiding

Unassertive and uncooperative. This person neither pursues his or her own concerns nor those of other individuals. They would rather not deal with the conflict at all. An ‘avoiding’ person is likely to diplomatically sidestep issues, postponing them to a better time, or simply withdraw completely from a threatening situation.

Collaborating

Both assertive and cooperative, this person is the complete opposite of avoiding. Collaborators attempt to work with others to find a solution that fully satisfies their concerns. It means digging into an issue to pinpoint the underlying needs and wants of the opposing parties. Collaborating between two people might take the form of exploring a disagreement to learn from each other’s insights or trying to find a creative solution to an interpersonal problem.

Compromising

Moderate in both assertiveness and cooperativeness. This person wants to find a mutually acceptable solution for both sides. The challenge with this is that neither of the opposing sides get what they want and compromising across the board could mean compromising on the success of a project in its entirety.

Did you recognise yourself from the five options above?

Conflict can be crippling for any organisation and because we all react differently to it, learning how to manage conflict proactively and mediate it when it arises, is hugely important. As a conflict management expert and professional mediator with over 15 years’ experience, I can help your organisation to recognise the symptoms of conflict and to transform conflict from a source of pain to an engine for communication, understanding and productivity.

For more information, you can contact me directly through the form at the top of this page.